Mother River View

There once was a woman

Who named me.

She was another child at the

end of her life,

As it was.

If you could dream of nightmares

they would feel like

Back then.

She once took me to a river

and placed me in the current running between two rocks,

Chilling me to the bone.

Now it's more like lightning,

The flashing hot thunder under my feet,

Skipping and slipping

and tipping

Where poise used to be.

Memories of homemade tinctures and nectar berry jam,

The sound of her smile.

That look of disdain.

You'd think our houseboat would have burned up

with the disaster that it became.

Sordid times of laughter and disappointment,

Of sadness and tenderness.

Love.

And regret.

The time I told you it was okay

And you, in stillness,

Stood there staring as if you knew me but

Couldn't really grasp the name.

The name you named me.

"It's on the tip of my tongue."

You used to say that a lot.

It was such a long time ago

But wasn't it only just yesterday?

Please make me a butterfly heart.

Place it on the window.

Tell me another story.

Draw me a picture of the old house you used to live in.

Just one last thing that I can hold on to.

Something I can name.

Something I can call my own.

The last year flew by just like that river,

like distant thunder flashing upon a darkening sky

To believe I haven't thought of you since,

I can't remember when.

But maybe the other day,

After the storm

I did.